Solstace
by Elina Sibony
Summary: His eyes weren’t gold. They were emerald green, like a precious gem magnifying its brilliance by one-hundred times. I began crying and looking at his face. Could it be? I pressed my head to the left side of his chest and heard a heart beat.*Not all human*
1. Emerald

**Disclaimer:**

**Oh my god!!!!!  
I was just told the most terrible news!!!!  
I'm not Stephanie Meyer?! I don't own Twilight?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
Darn it...**

**.___.  
**

* * *

Emerald

"Be right back, Bells!" Charlie said at a pitch that would only be acceptable as a screech. "Got to go to Clearwater's house, I need some more of that throat medicine." He began looking for the keys to the cruiser. He looked frantic, like he was addicted to the stuff. I remembered that he left it near the kitchen sink, so I reached over for them. As I did, I lost balance and fell. It was nothing bad, just a small bruise formed on my left knee. Charlie turned around and walked over. He crouched down to check my temperature.

"I'm okay, Charlie." He composed himself out of the crouch, and leaned on the table.

"Your temperature is okay. Hmm…" He said. "Are you feeling dizzy?"

"No, I'm just a little tired." In truth, I felt like falling to the ground from exhaustion. In the previous night, Edward and I had a long conversation and lost track of the time. My yawns made Edward come to his senses at around six-thirty in the morning. He turned saw the sky lightening and with inhuman speed he ran to my laptop to see the time.

His expression went blank. I knew he was mad with himself. I got out of my bed, and walked over to him. He infuriated with himself for letting me stay up so late. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed myself into his chest. I then balanced on my toes and curled my head into his neck. The anger left his face immediately. He angled himself in a way that I could easily reach his face. I moved my face to his. His sweet breath was now just inches from me. He breathed into my ear and whispered "Bella". That's all he needed to say and I kissed him with the last drops of energy I had left. He kissed back automatically. He then heard me yawn and we were in my bed almost instantaneously. Before I was completely unconscious, he cradled me into his arms and began singing my lullaby.

Charlie was about to walk out of the door, when I rose out of my day dream. I told him that I would finish in the kitchen, and try to get some sleep. "Bells, I'll be back by eleven tonight. There's going to be a game on."

"Okay, I'm going to Edwards's house. I'll be back around the same time you'll be." His fists tightened and turned white. "Dad, Edward is in Port Angeles. I'm going over to see Alice."

"Oh", he said, "have fun, then" He cleared his throat and left.

A few minutes later, I heard an engine stop. Edward came through the house seconds later and made his way into the kitchen. He came up from behind me. He wrapped his cool hands around my waist and kissed my neck. It felt like my heart was pumping pure adrenaline into my veins. I turned around, kissed him, and yawned.

"You look so tired." He said with concern echoing in his voice.

"I'll take a nap after I clean up the kitchen." I protested.

"That's utterly absurd, you need to sleep. How are you going to clean when you can barely stand?" He said with distinct disapproval.

"I don't have much left to do." I protested again. This time I yawned so loud, it sounded like a lion. He then picked me up and cradled me into his arms. With inhuman speed, he ran with me in his arms to my room. He gently dropped me into my bed, and turned away. As he began walking to the door, I propped my self up. "Where are you going?" I asked immediately.

"I'll be right back." He said, flashing me my favorite crooked smile. Just as I began to comprehend where he was going, he came back. "Now you can sleep, the kitchen is clean." He winked at me and I rolled my eyes smiling. He made it over to my bed and cradled me into his arms. He then breathed into my ear, "Sleep, Bella, Sleep my love." I curled my head into his cool neck and then feel asleep.

The dream began in the time of the early nineteen hundreds with Edward's arms wrapped around me in a train station. This time he felt different, though. His skin wasn't cold; it was warm, kind of hot even. His arms weren't pale either. I looked up to his face and there he was. His eyes weren't gold. They were emerald green, like a precious gem magnifying its brilliance by one-hundred times. I began crying and looking at his face. Could it be? I pressed my head to the left side of his chest and heard a heart beat.

"What's wrong?" He asked. More tears began streaming down my face. "Bella what's wrong?" He said it in such an alarmed tone, that I felt obligated to speak. Before I could, he reached down and kissed me. He wasn't guarded at all. He kissed me with such intensity; it was as if that was all the strength he had. I was shocked, though. His strength was like one of a feather. I reacted willingly though, wrapping my arms around him, but it felt strange.

"Edward, you're human!" I managed to say, but it sounded like singing, if that were possible.

"And you're a vampire, Bella." A deep burn began to emerge from my throat. It felt like swallowing magma. "We've talked about this before. I trust you. We can be together."

I caught a glimpse of a mirror in the distance and ran with inhuman speed toward it. I looked into it and saw pale white skin, an unfamiliar beautiful face, and a pair of amber eyes. I was shocked and began screaming. I gripped the mirror so lightly, but it shattered into a million pieces. I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain that would follow in my now glass-filled hand. I opened my eyes to see myself completely unharmed. Strange. I jumped out of the circle of glass and practically flew fifty feet toward Edward. The strength, the beauty; it was too much to handle. I sat down and wrapped my arms around my knees; securing the lock with my hands. I couldn't believe what I was. The magma began to pour down my throat again; filling my mouth with what seemed to be… _Venom_? No, I said to myself. It's impossible. An over powering wave of desire for his blood hit me.

Out of nowhere, a voice appeared in my head. _Bella, are you okay?_ Edward thought while he ran a human paced sprint. I was able to hear his thoughts. Now that I concentrated enough, I heard everyone's thoughts. He made his way over to me and stood still. _Bella? _

His scent was so sweet I couldn't help it. I crouched and a deep growl emerged from my throat. My hunt was locked. No! Stop! I tried to come to my senses, but the thirst was unbearable. It controlled me. I lunged for his throat. He understood what I was about to do. He thought one final thought. _I'd rather die by your lips, in your arms. _By the time I came to control over my instincts, it was too late. His pulse was stuttering and then nonexistent. He was _dead_. I began screaming, but it sounded like singing. I ran with his body to a garden that was just outside of the station. The cloudless sky allowed the full power of the sun to radiate off of my diamond skin. Still in my arms, Edward laid. I pressed myself to him. I began crying and my tears burned the grass as they hit it. Venom tears? What next? I hated me; every part of me. My tears turned into waterfalls. In hysterics, I screamed.

I awoke screaming with Edwards safe golden eyes starring at me.

"Are you okay?" He said with such a comforting voice that I somehow melted into his arms.

"Edward! Oh, Edward! _Oh!_" I sobbed, and began crying.

"Bella, what ever it was, I'm here with you now. You're safe." He said. I shook my head.

"But you weren't." I said, recalling my dream. He understood that my dream had to do with him.

"What was your dream?" I could tell he was being calm for my sake, but I could here the concern echoing in his voice.

"Edward", I began, "We were in the nineteen hundreds, you where human, and I was a vamp…" I broke into hysterics and he wrapped his arms tighter around me. "Vampire. I got thirsty and I…" I curled into him and I felt obligated to finish. "I, I…, I …" I couldn't finish; the tears became unbearable to neglect, but he understood immediately what my dream was.

"Bella, it's alright. I'm here now. Don't worry anymore. I've got you. I promise I'll always be with you."

After a while, my crying began to subside. I gave him a more detailed version of my dream; explaining how I felt. The thirst, the strength, everything; I told him about his eyes. I explained his scent to him. He smelled like mint, honey, pine, chamomile, rain, I couldn't find the right adjectives to describe his scent. I told him about my eyes. I shivered at the thought. When I was finished telling him everything, he sat me on his lap and locked his eyes to mine. My breathing was still uneven as he held my face into his hands. With his thumbs, he wiped the final tears from my eyes.

"Wow, Bella." He said. He half smiled.

"What?" I asked curiously; still evening out my breathing.

"The power you felt in your…" He looked at me and saw my unchanging expression. "Dream" He continued. "Compared to me as a human. Knowing that you're constantly at risk of killing the one person who you love most is unbearable. I never thought that you would understand, but your dream put you into my shoes. When Alice first saw your, possible at the time, future, I saw everything. The cold face, the lifeless corpse, everything. Your dream wasn't merely as descriptive as Alice's vision, but it struck fear through me. I felt the same way you did in your dream. Of course, since the misunderstanding with your cliff diving experience, I have no desire to drink your blood. My strength, on the other hand, is something that I am truly horrified of. I fear that every time I kiss or hug you, I'll break you in half." He concluded.

I was shaken by his words. My dream wasn't _merely as descriptive or horrifying as Alice's vision_. Throughout the beginning, he felt like _this?!_ I felt so terrible; selfish even. Maybe he _wanted _to leave. No. I wouldn't allow myself to think of that again. I finally understood.

He saw my face.

"Did I upset you" He asked; his face serious now as he brushed his cool fingers against my cheek.

I wanted to tell him everything I was thinking, but something held me back. I answered simply. "No." I said in a, hopefully, reassuring enough voice. My tone didn't suffice and the apology began.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to lay all of that on you. You are in pain and I, instead of comforting you, am telling you my fears from the beginning of our relationship like it was me who was hurt. I want you to know…" I put my finger over his icy lips and stopped him from finishing his unnecessary apology. I knew that his reflexes could've easily broken my path to his lips, and that my strength was not restraining enough to keep him from speaking, but he still allowed me to stop him.

"These aren't tears of pain, they are tears of understanding. I knew that it wasn't easy for you, but I didn't know that it was that excruciatingly painful. Thank you. Your poker face is too good for me, so when you tell me what's on your mind, I feel more secure."

"About what?" He asked. His face was now joyful and curious.

"I feel selfish. I feel like I don't deserve you. I feel more secure when you tell me what's on your mind." I thought out loud; immediately regretting what I said.

"Wow, Bella." That's exactly how I feel. He thought a moment and continued. He took my hand and held it to his heart. I turned my hand over so that my palm was touching his. He slowly moved his face to mine. He took his other hand and cupped it around my neck.

I took my hand from his heart and traced my fingers up his neck until they reached his cheek. I pressed my lips to his. Goose bumps arose from my arms. He kissed me until my heartbeat was twice as fast than it should be and until the room was spinning. I broke away, but the room wouldn't stop spinning. I felt nauseous. I got up from by bed and made my way over to my bathroom. On my way there, I tripped and fell. Inches from the floor, Edward caught me.

"I think I'm going to throw up." I said in a small voice. He carried me to the bathroom. I nudged him when we got to the door to let me go. He curled his arm tighter around me and opened the door to the bathroom. He gently let me go; still keeping my hand in his. Nothing happened, though. I felt even more nauseous than before. I composed myself out of the crouch that I made over the toilet and looked over to the mirror. My face was pale; not beautiful like Edward's, but weak.

"Edward." I moaned. He lifted me into his arms and started the engine to the car that we were now in.

"I'm taking you to Carlisle." He said in a concerned tone.

"Edward, I'm fine." I lied.

"Please, Bella just let him check on you." He spoke in almost a whisper. He took my hand in his. About three minutes later, we were at his house. "Carlisle and the others are hunting. They'll be back in about a half an hour." He cut off the engine and opened my door. He took my hand and helped me up. I regained most of my balance. I made my way to his front door. He still held my hand out of precaution, slightly applying pressure to different parts of my hand. We walked inside together and he sat me the couch that was closest to his piano.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me.

"Truthfully, I feel much better." I honestly did. There was still a sharp pain in the back of my head, but the dizziness and the nausea was gone.

"There are a lot of pressure points on your hands. About a few years ago, before I met you, I took an interest in eastern medicine. I hope that it helped." He said. It did. I felt much better.

"Thank you. It did help a lot. Do you mind me asking something?" I asked

"No, go ahead." He said in a voice that was painted with curiosity.

"Do you think you could do some of that pressure pointing for the pain in my head?" I asked. He took my hand in his.

"Where do you feel pain?" He asked.

"The bottom of my head; right over here." I pointed to where it hurt, and he took a deep breath. His face suddenly became concentrated. He took my hand and applied pressure to different points around it and my wrists. The pain in my head began to slowly fade away.

When the pain was completely gone, I put my hand on his. He looked up from my hand and starred at me with a confused look.

"All better now." I said joyfully.

"Good, now I don't feel bad about asking you." He flashed me my favorite crooked smile.

"About what?" I asked; confused.

"Do you mind if I run something by you?" He said nervously.

"No." I said happily.

"Okay, I'll be right back." He flew up the stairs and back down again. When he slowed down to a human paced walk, I noticed sheet music in his hand.

"Did you write a new song?" I asked surprised. I'm usually with him twenty-four hours a day, except for when he hunts. How did he ever find the time to write music?

"Yes." He sat me next to him on his piano chair. He began playing. The music filled the house with a melody that brought me to tears from its beauty. I looked down and saw Edward's hands glide among the keys. It was like magic. He would've laughed if he heard that. I got back to absorbing the music with the best of my concentration. He slowed his playing down and eventually stopped. He looked up at me to see my reaction.

"That was beautiful." I said; my breathing still uneven from the tears his song produced. He held my face in his hands and brushed the tears from my face with his thumbs. He leaned forward and kissed me on my forehead.

"I'm glad you liked it. I was thinking it could be played at the reception." His face stood frozen for a minute; as if he was examining something. "Your heart sounds stressed." He accused. "Why didn't you tell me that the pain came back?"

"I didn't really seem to notice." I lied. My stomach growled just as I was about to open my mouth. Edward chuckled.

"Lunch time? Or rather I say dinner?"

"Which ever it is, I am pretty hungry."

"Anything in particular you wanted?" He asked.

"Honestly, anything." Now that I thought about it, I really was hungry. My stomach knotted and I wrapped my arms around my torso. "Okay, I'll take anything, including blood."

"Not funny, Bella." He said; making his way into the kitchen with my hand in his. He opened the stainless-steel refrigerator and began rummaging through the shelves. They were numbered and organized. Alice. They had their own personal blood bank. Guessing my thoughts, Edward spoke.

"They were originally intended for Jasper when his will power to abstain from human blood dissipated. Now we just keep it around for who ever else will need it." He shot a glance at me and sighed. He found a plate covered in aluminum foil labeled Bella. He took it out and heated it in the stove, originally used as a prop. That brought something to my attention.

"Edward?"

"Yes." He looked at me and looked back down.

"Why do you have a fully stocked kitchen? I understand a refrigerator, but what else does a family of vampires need?" I asked curiously.

"When the house was built, it was intended for humans. Esme's architecture is based on modernizing and reusing without erasing its intended purpose. She and Carlisle have also had discussions about having human friends. Most of those discussions ended up in 'No, it's too dangerous'…" He looked at me and sighed. "You are the first human who has ever been here. Getting back to the kitchen, it's just a prop really. It reminds us of our constant need to act human, too. Alice had a vision that we would need it, so we stocked and kept it"

The food was filing the entire kitchen with it's delicious smell. Edward put the food on a plate and sat across from me. I took a bite into the cheese filled croissant. "Mmm." I was able to say as I took bite after bite of this giant plate of food. Did he cook this? How?

"Food Network." Edward answered as if he were anticipating my thoughts. "You'd be surprised to see how much you can learn from T.V." He laughed. I joined in. When I was done eating, I felt another compression in the back of my head. I closed my eyes and pressed my hands to where the pain throbbed most.

When I opened my eyes, Edward starred at me with curiosity and concern. "The headache came back." I said. Edward took me by the hand and led me to a couch. He sat me on his lap; placing his cool hand on the back of my head.

"Carlisle is coming soon." He said in a very reassuring voice. I curled into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. A few minutes later, Alice and Jasper came in though the kitchen.

* * *

**Please Read and Review! It makes my week even if its good or bad... Please be honest! I appreciate reviews, corrections, and requests for up coming chapters or stories you guys would like me to write!!! I'm open to anything!!!**

-elina


	2. Diagnosis

Diagnosis

"Hi!" Alice said joyfully. "Bella, how's your head?"

"It's getting better." I lied for Edward's sake. I didn't like him worrying about stupid things. The last thing I needed was emotional strain on top of physical pain. Edward, unfortunately caught my bluff. Damn his intuition. Is there anything he didn't catch? Why did I have to be such a terrible liar?

"Where is Carlisle? He said he'd be here by now." Edward said. His face went from calm to a mixture of panic and frustration. His body tensed. I brushed the tips of my fingers on one of the hands he laid around my waist.

"Edward, calm down." I said softly. He sighed and relaxed.

"Hi, Jasper." I said. He nodded and made his way upstairs.

"I have a message." Edward said. "Hi, Bella. I'm sorry that I can't control myself enough to give you a proper greeting. Please don't take this personally. I will not forgive myself for what happened to you at the party, so I will be holding my breath until you've been changed." That party was over a year ago. Edward probably put him up to this. "I hope you feel better soon. Carlisle is coming in a few minutes. Oh yeah, one more thing. When Edward turns you, remind me not to hold my breath. Alice said it might be a pretty hard habit to stop. I'm going to use Edward more often to speak to you, if he doesn't mind. Now we have a better use for him." Edward said.

Jasper speaking through Edward? That's something I would've never thought of. I heard some laughing in the distance as Jasper approached us. He stopped about twenty feet away from me and froze. "Sorry I can't come closer. The sound of your heart is too much when I'm to close." Jasper said through Edward.

I could tell he re-worded his explanation. Edward trying to protect me from what I already knew, again. _I'm not scared of vampires! I'm engaged to one and about to become one! Why the re-wording? I am not, repeat not, afraid!_ I wanted to scream out at the top of my lungs, but something held me back. The one ounce of human normality left in me. My mind was set on becoming like Edward. I literally begged him to turn me, so why the fear? It wasn't mental. I suppose it was physical then. Ah, my many mental dilemmas.

"How are you?" Jasper asked through Edward. My face in concentration set him off or common courtesy?

"Good. And you?" I simply replied.

"I'm struggling, as usual. I know that it's weird, but Alice insists that I try to establish more of a friendship with you." Jasper said through Edward.

"No, I think it's a good idea. I'm glad that we can talk now." I said. Jasper nodded and smiled.

"Jasper, I'm not going to say that." Edward said.

"Jazz, you can talk. You don't have to take such drastic measures." Alice said as she hugged him. "You won't hurt her." She mumbled something really fast into his ear and grabbed his hands from behind his back. His body tensed and froze.

"Please don't do anything you don't want to do." I said. "If you would like, I can go to Edward's room. I know it won't do much to help with the scent or the sound of my heart, but its worth a try." Edward, Alice, and Jasper starred at me in shock.

"How did you know that?" Edward gasped. Again, he was shocked at my intellect. And he called me exceptionally unobservant? I suppressed a laugh.

"I picked up a few things." I said. "Why?"

"I…" He stopped, chuckled and continued. "never mind." Edward said; still shocked.

"You don't have to teach me everything." I said playfully; touching his nose for a second with my index finger.

"Will you ever seize to amaze me?" Edward said

"No, I hope not. I would be so boring if I didn't amaze you." I replied. Edward nodded at Jasper. Alice glided over to me, breaking Edward's grip around my waist. She pulled me off of his lap, stood me up and gave me a hug. She took my hand and led me to the kitchen table, keeping one hand on the back of my head. There was a lot of fabric stacked neatly across the table. They were in two piles, one labeled "reception" and the other labeled "ceremony". She picked up a pile

"Do you prefer pearl or ivory for your table clothes?" Alice asked.

"Ummm. Is there a difference?" I asked confused. Wasn't pearl and ivory the same creamy white color? A blush emerged on my face as I realized that I was arranging my wedding.

"Bella." Alice began. "Hasn't Edward told you about the difference between human eyes and vampire eyes?" She frowned at Edward. "Of course not." She sighed and continued. "When you can see like we do, everything is much more defined than if we were human. Comparing ivory, for instance, with pearl could be like comparing black with white." She concluded.

"Then why ask my opinion?" I asked.

"Well like it or not, you are a bride to be and I don't want to give you an insignificant wedding."

"I'll take…" Edward made his way into the kitchen and cut me off. "Alice." He whined. "Don't torture Bella. She's had enough to worry about. Go with what you feel is best. You know that Bella will be happy either way." He said in a comforting voice as he swept me into his arms.

"It's not like I didn't have your permission to ask. You could have easily said no to my thoughts or blocked my attempt to take Bella."

"I never did say 'yes'." Edward said.

"You never said 'no', either." Alice replied.

Quickly before it got to out of hand, I played a mental game of ennie-meanie-minie-mo to choose between to identical color. "Ivory, I like ivory." I managed to say before Edward flew up the stairs into his bedroom. He sat on the couch and laid me next to him.

"Well aren't you a life savor." I chuckled. He laughed for a moment and then froze. He was concentrating on something.

"I can hear Carlisle's thoughts. He's about a mile away." Edward said.

Minutes later, Carlisle and Esme walked up the stairs; parting as Carlisle made his way to Edward's room and Esme into their room.

"Hello Edward. Hello Bella, How are you feeling?" Carlisle said with a warm smile.

"I'm getting better, but the headache isn't exactly comforting." I said.

"Lets start with the basics, shall we? Have you been eating regularly?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes."

"Have you been drinking eight cups of water a day?" Carlisle asked me. Now that I thought about it, I realized that I haven't drank anything in almost two days.

Judging by my silence, Edward flew down the stairs and came back up in the same second with a glass of water.

"Drink in slow increments. Judging from the loss in balance and nausea, you have slight dehydration, nothing a few glasses of water can't fix." He chuckled and Edward relaxed. The water was cool and refreshing as it made its way down my throat, quenching my body from its slight deprivation. I felt slightly better immediately. After I finished my glass of water, I stood up and began walking to the door.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked

"To the kitchen." I replied. "Since I'm a part of the family, I might as well clean up after myself." I said smiling. He walked up to me and took my hand into his.

"The last thing I need is for you to fall down three flights of stairs." Edward chuckled. I pursed my lips.

"Thank you for you concern." I said sarcastically.

"Sorry, I forgot that humans get irritated easily when they are sick." He said playfully.

"Sure, blame the dehydration for my reaction to your need to mock my balance." I said under my breath.

I knew he heard it. He wrapped one arm around my waist and whispered into my ear, "Sorry." He kissed the nape of my neck. His lips traced up my neck until they reached my lips. I kissed back automatically, forgetting that I was supposed to be angry with him. He laughed; keeping his lips on mine. "Am I forgiven?" He asked; a hint of persuasion and unnecessary seduction lingered in his voice.

"Hardly." I managed to say, completely breathless. We made our way into the kitchen. I set my glass in the sink and began searching for some soap and a sponge. Edward let my waist go for a second and came back with Esme.

"Bella, do you honestly think I am willing to let you clean?" She said in a tone of disappointment.

"I just asked her where the new bottle of soap was." Edward told me. What a freaking liar!

"Please, Esme? I would feel a lot better if I knew that I was helping out some how." I said.

"Just having you around is enough." She said. She picked up the glass, washed it, and put it away with blinding speed.

"We don't get tired, humans do. I don't want you wasting your energy for mundane tasks that you already do at home with Charlie." Esme said.

"Thank you, Esme." I said. It was hopeless to start anything with Esme. After all, she is my future mother-in-law and the fact that she can kill me at any second does add a little incentive to the fact that agreeing with her was prudent. Then again, being prudent wasn't exactly something I really cared for considering my fiancé was a vampire.

Edward took my hand in his and led me to his room. When we got there, everyone had left. I laid down on his couch and he followed, laying down next to me.

"You're in trouble." I said coldly. I avoided looking into his eyes. I knew that he would use their beauty against me.

"Am I?" He asked playfully. He took a lock of my hair and began twisting it in his fingers.

"Yes. Edward, I don't like it when I have to go through hell because I want to wash a cup. You know me and you know how much I don't like attention, so why bring Esme into this?" I said coldly.

"I hardly see what Esme has to do with me being in trouble." He said, still calm.

"You put her up to that guilt speech that leaves me to do what she wants." I said

"What does her not wanting you to exert your energy on a dirty cup when your sick have to do with guilt?" He asked.

"She puts that 'you being here is enough' speech on, and you know what? You're one-hundred percent right. Esme has nothing to do with this." I began. I looked up for the first time to glance at his face and it was washed with confusion and a need for peace. I had to give in. "Let's just drop the conversation." I gave in. Did he have mind control? How else could he be able to do this? The anger left my face and was quickly replaced with happiness.

"Well that's a relief." He chuckled, while brushing the back of his cool fingers against my cheek. I shivered involuntarily. "I thought I was going to have to fake a fight with you. Thanks, Jasper. Are you cold?" He asked.

"No. You can blame the adrenaline for the shiver." I said.

"I suppose humans are supposed to fear us, but I didn't think it would take that long to kick in." He responded.

"Edward." I spoke his name slowly and gently. "Fear isn't the only way for adrenaline to kick in." I reminded him.

He placed his cold hand on my waist. "I know." He whispered.

"Then why all the need for reassurance?" I asked.

"Honestly, your reaction to my teasing is quite priceless." He said; repressing a laugh. I sighed. I curled myself as close to him as possible; inhaling his intoxicating scent. We laid there for a while in complete silence. After about fifteen minutes, I gasped at a sudden pain that emerged from my temples. I felt his arm gently leave my waist and moving to sit me up next to him.

"Do you need more water?" He asked.

"Um, yeah. Please." I responded. I tried to control my voice. I hated feeling like the weakest link even more so then I already was, so when ever I got sick, I tended to cover it up.

Edward came back into the room with two giant glasses of above room temperature water. "Bella, please stop trying to act so modest. It would be obvious to a human that you're in pain. There is really no point in trying to hide it." He said with a slight hint of disapproval.

"Thank you." I said kindly. The water began to help. After about an hour the pain was mostly gone.


	3. The Note

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked as he caught me staring out the glass wall.

"I'm worried about Jake." I said honestly.

He held me tighter in his arms and whispered into my ear, "Don't worry yourself with the mongrel. He's just going to have to accept the fact that we're getting married. He'll find someone; don't act as if it is your responsibility to make sure he finds love."

"Edward, you don't understand. I love you more than anything and everyone, but that doesn't mean that I don't love him, too. I want to spend the rest of my life, existence, with you and I want Jacob to be happy, too. I just feel that he's never going to be happy as long as I'm not with him and it kills me to know that his pain can be directly caused by me." I spoke from my heart when I told Edward this. He is the most understanding person in the world.

"Bella, I do understand. You can't keep blaming yourself, though. I…" He said before I cut him off.

"I need to see him." I said as one single tear came down my cheek. The next moment I was in Edward's car. The drive was silent. I was trying to put together my words when I would have to see him. Edward had Mozart playing quietly in the background. When we got to the boundary line I took my phone out and called Jake.

"Hey, Jake. Are you busy?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Jake isn't here." Billy said. He sounded so concerned, it scared me.

"Where is he? Is he okay? Oh my god! What if…" Billy cut me off.

"He phased and ran off into the woods after he got a letter from Edward. When I asked Seth what was wrong, he told me that Jacob refused to speak to anyone." Billy said.

I have one long, hard, and evil look at Edward. What the hell could he have wrote to make Jake run away?

"Can you please meet us at the boundary line? I think we and the pack need to speak face-to-face." I forced out of my lips.

"Sure, we'll meet you in fifteen minutes." Billy said before he hung up.

Still keeping my glare on Edward, I spoke through a clenched jaw, "What did you do?" I got out of the car, but I couldn't compose myself any longer. I broke into hysterics; sitting with my back to the car on a tree stump. Why did Jake leave? This isn't right. What did Edward do! I swear I'm going to, I'm going to…

My mind was interrupted when I realized my tree stump had been replaced with a cool lap and my head was suddenly in between a hand and a still chest.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." Edward said in the most sincere voice I have ever heard. As much as I wanted to be calm, I couldn't sustain it.

"What. Did. You. Write. To. Him!" I screamed. I pushed to get out of his embrace, but he wouldn't let me go.

"Let me go!" I screamed.

"Bella, I can't do that." He said apologetically.

I can't?! What the hell did that mean? I was so angry and upset that I didn't even know what I was doing.

"LET ME GO!" I yelled so loud that my lungs hurt. Just then, I heard running. Sam and Quil ran up to us in their wolf form and let a deep growl merge from their throats.

"Please, just let me explain. Let me talk to her. I don't mean any harm to her. I just need to speak to her alone. Bella?" Edward tried to calm the wolves down, but he didn't succeed. They ripped me out of Edwards grip leaving some scratches on my arms. I became limp and lifeless as Seth phased back into a human, put his clothes on, and carried me deeper into the woods.

"What happened back there?" Seth asked after a while. I still wasn't able to speak. All I did was look into his eyes and he understood. I could tell that he was able to see the pain and horror in my eyes as I came to realize that Jake was gone.

"Seth, I…" I couldn't even finish. I just started to soak his shirt with my tears. "Seth, I could walk." I managed to choke out. He stopped walking and sat me down next to him with our backs leaning on a giant oak tree. He wrapped one arm around me and pulled me close to his chest.

"Bella, do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

"How could he just leave?" I asked.

"Jake didn't mean for you to go through any pain. He just needs time to find himself." He consoled me.

"I love him so much. I can't be without him." I finally gave up on hiding it. "I love him just as much as I do Edward. I can't have him leave." I confessed. I did love Edward more than Jacob, but since I've seen what it feels like to have Jake gone, it felt just as bad as when Edward left. I love Jacob just as much as Edward now. That meant only one thing: It was time to look for him.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Lets get back to the reservation, okay?"

"No, I need to go home. I have to think this through."

"That's probably not the best idea. Edward can get to you if you are in your house. I can take you to Billy's. You said you wanted to talk to him, right?" What he said made sense. The best place to think it over was where Edward wasn't going to be. I needed to think in a place where I couldn't be biased towards anything.

"Okay." I agreed.

"You look pretty tired anyway. Do you still want me to carry you?" He asked.

"No. It's fine. I'll walk." I got up and we walked there in about ten minutes.

When we emerged from the foliage, Billy was standing on his porch talking to Charlie.

Crap. I thought to myself. If Charlie sees me like this, then I'm going to be in big trouble.

"Alright, well I've got to go to Clearwater's. I'll see you some other time." Charlie said as he walked down the porch. I ran to hide behind the house so that Charlie couldn't see me. Thankfully, it worked. He walked away and didn't notice anything. After Charlie was out of sight, Seth and I walked into the house.

"Well, it's a good thing that Sam was already phased when he heard your 'situation' going on at the boundary line. What happened between the two of you? Billy asked; a hint of confusion lingering in my voice.

"I needed to be alone and he wouldn't let me out of his grip. I didn't even know what I was doing, to be honest." I told him.

"Go into Jake's room. You can think it over in there." Billy said.

"Thank you." I said and quickly made my way to his room. It hit me then. I was in Jake's room. The letter Edward gave him! Where is it? I looked around in his room and I saw a piece of folded paper with Edward's writing on the front. It was titled:

**Jacob**

I flipped it open, and it read:

**Jacob, **

**I'm breaking the rules by sending you this. She was afraid of hurting you, and she didn't want to make you feel obligated in any way. But I know that, if things had gone the other way, I would have wanted the choice.**

**I promise I will take care of her, Jacob. Thank you -for her - for everything.**

**Edward**

I was going to tell him that I wanted him to be my best man today. I was going to talk to him about our relationship. I was going to try to even everything out. Edward wasn't wrong to send Jake the message, but he wasn't right to do it behind my back, either. He should've told me his intentions. I threw the paper on the floor and sat down on Jake's bed. I could smell his scent from the covers. Such a good smell yet the polar opposite of Edwards, that's what they where polar opposites forced to come together by one common interest: me. I decided to let my dreams take over, so I took off my shoes and jacket and got under his covers. So warm… I thought to myself before I dosed off.


	4. The Intertwined

The dream opened with a large hallway; two doors on each side. One door was labeled "Jacob"; the other, "Edward". The walls were decorated in different patters. They each told a story. Jacob's wall had a wolf on it and a woman who fell in love. It showed a happy, care-free life where they grew old together and lived in peace. The other wall showed two beautiful pale creatures surrounded by a family of equally beautiful creatures. It showed undying love for each other and a never ending life of youth, love, and togetherness; a bond that was too strong for anyone to break. As I walked down the hallway I came across a door at the hallway's end that was labeled "Bella". The designs intertwined at the door. Just as I opened the door, I was awoken by my cell phone. It read "Edward". I opened it and yawned a hello.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" He asked. He sounded so scared. It was as if he thought he was about to loose me.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." I replied in monotone.

"Can we please talk? I need to explain myself. Please?" He sounded like a little puppy dog, but I had to keep myself safe.

"Fine, but only if Alice is there." I said.

"Why do you need Alice?" He asked confused, but willing.

"I need her just incase you refuse to grant me permission to my personal space again." I spat.

"I'm so sorry about that. Bella, please…" I cut him off.

"We'll talk about it when we meet. I'll be at the boundary line in a half-an-hour. Come with Alice, or don't come at all." I said. I hung up before I heard a good bye from him. I took one long breath, inhaling Jake's scent, and made my way down stairs into a living room that was now filled with the entire Quileute pack and Billy.

"Bella. Sit down." Sam said as he motioned for me to sit next to him.

"I have to go. Thank you for letting me take some time to think, Billy." I said.

"You aren't looking for Jake alone, are you?" Seth asked as I made my way to the door.

"No, I have to talk to Edward." A concerned look crossed their faces.

"After what he just did to you? Bella, you're honestly insane." Seth said disapprovingly.

"Alice is going to be there. She can cover me." I said trying to convince them into approving of me seeing the man who just… I stopped that thought immediately.

"We'll be there, too." Sam said. The rest of the pack agreed with a single nod.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for you to be anywhere near him at the moment. Look at what just happened, Bella. Are you just going to forget that? Honestly Bella, I expected more of yo…" I cut him off before he could finish.

"I'm not strong enough." I whispered. I couldn't handle this. I wasn't strong enough to loose both loves at the same time.

"That's why it's not safe. Please listen. Give this about a week before you resume any contact with him." Billy spoke as if he were the older version of Jake. That made me smile for a fraction of a second.

"I'm not strong enough." I repeated. "I'm not strong enough to loose both Jacob and Edward. I can't handle that. I just can't." I forced out those final words, but all I could do was whisper them.

A single tear came down my right cheek. That tear was followed by many more as I broke down in front of everyone. I lost control. I just couldn't contain myself. My legs became unresponsive as I fell to my knees. Billy and Sam came over to me. It was strange, though. I didn't want their comfort. I wanted Jake's above all else; even above Edward's comfort. I was able to regain control over myself after a while, though.

We had already arranged how this meeting would go. I was to stay behind the boundary line with the pack as cover and Alice was to restrain Edward from coming to close without my permission. I hated thinking of Edward as dangerous, though. Of course he almost killed me, dismembered a vampire in front of me, had the ability to crush me without any effort, but I looked past that. I never cared. I still didn't.


	5. Authors plea

Authors note:

Hey guys! I am about to ask a favor from all of you. When I uploaded chapter four of Solstace, (I spelled it wrong for a reason), I got 532 hits in two days. As of right now, I have four reviews. Three of which are from the same person, you got to love emmaluvesemmit. Thank you for the reviews. I have chapter five on my desktop just waiting to be posted. Let's aim for twenty reviews, please. It shouldn't be too hard its not even one fifth of the hits I have. The sooner you review, the sooner I post.

REMEMBER! I welcome all review. GOOD AND BAD. I want to become a better writer and what better way than advice from readers? Please review. Pretty please with a Cullen on top?


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